Better Seen and Not Heard

I went to family counseling with my husband (NOT photo to right) and it was emotional, naturally.  One of the many themes, threads, etc he stresses each session and conversation is that what I choose to experience day-to-day does not necessarily mean it cannot be done while married.  I beg to disagree (see photo to right).  


While douche-bag was most pleasant to look at, unfortunately he kept insisting on opening his mouth.  Obviously he never the learned the age-old lesson that it is better to be seen and not heard.  He is the poster child of why the adage was created.  Nice eye candy but Lord help me, make him stop talking!


So I woke up this morning and it was a beautiful, clear day.  It has been over a week since I've been skiing so I decided that a trip up the hill was in order.  20 minutes later I'm snow bound.  I decided to hit slopes that I rarely visit due to road conditions.  What a gorgeous day.  I gear up and slip into line and hear a silky voice ask my name.  Yaaaaa baby!  I may still be married but as long as I look but don't touch, I will not burn in hell (much).  We hit it off.  Then, as most people cannot seem to help themselves from doing, he keeps talking and talking and talking.  Are ya picking up a theme from reading my posts?  
                              STOP FUCKING TALKING ALL THE G'DAM TIME!  


But I am very good at tuning people out so pretty boy drones on and I nod politely because his ass moves in pretty little swooshy movements that I reallllllllly like.  mmmmmmm, that is the memory I will take away from the day.  Anyway.  Sadly, after 2 hours I am ready to stick my poles into my eardrums to make the agony stop.  By now, I've also decided to raise my standards and only date hobos.  Why?  People with money like to talk about their money and they are very high maintenance.   Perhaps if you also have lots of money it all works.  So, while the day was stupendous,  I was unable to make eye candy LEAVE so I finally had to experience an horrible muscle cramp and go home.  That's right, I had to leave a perfectly awesome slope on a perfectly awesome day because my walking, talking, dick-swinging douche-bag did not have an off button!  I need a tattoo on my forehead that says,
                     "talky people need not apply"


On a side-note....do you know what sexting is?  I THOUGHT I did.  Until someone said something and so I asked something and I was then shown actual examples of sexting and WHOA BIG DADDY!  My first post said I was sexting...I was sooooo NOT SEXTING!!  Have you seen this shit?  It is PORN!!  It is spell-fucking, thank you very much.  I was mildly flirting while sexting is Traci Lords ass fucking porn, okay!!   Damn, thank God I did not have a cell phone in high school!!!